Self-Diagnosis

When I first moved up to the mainland for college, I discovered just how cold it was. For a freshman service project, we had to go clean up a trail in the mountains. I was freezing and could barely do anything because my fingers and toes were burning with pain and numb at the same time. I looked around and wondered how everyone else was working through the cold.

I experienced this sensation a lot. My fingers would turn white and under my fingernails would turn blue. I googled "frostbite" to see if that is what happened to me. It was really painful and made it difficult for me to do anything with my hands or feet. It hurt to walk in the cold. If I was in a room that wasn't well-heated, I couldn't type on my computer -- I would alternate typing with one hand while sitting on the other hand to warm it up. It was also difficult shopping in the refrigerated section of the grocery store.

Gloves didn't help, but I discovered disposable hand-warmers sold in bulk at Costco during the winter, so that became a staple for me. I always had a pair in my pockets and would carry them with me everywhere.

Then one day a couple years later, I was reading a magazine with a Q&A section to a doctor. A reader had the same symptoms as I did and the doctor said it was probably Raynaud's Disease. I jumped on the computer to find out more about it. After reading about it and seeing pictures, I was pretty sure that is what I had. While it can be triggered from stress or other factors, the most common trigger is the cold. Your body's normal reaction to being cold is for your body to narrow blood vessels to the skin and open the blood vessels to the inside of the body to keep the body warm. With Raynaud's, the body overcompensates for the cold and cuts off blood supply to the fingers and toes (sometimes nose and ears too). There is no cure for the phenomenon, but the website suggested ways of trying to prevent it from being triggered -- wear warm clothes, wear gloves, run your hands under warm water, move to a warmer climate, etc. I self-diagnosed myself with it, but never bothered seeing a doctor about it because the websites I had read said that it is more of a nuisance than a disability.

(My Raynaud's looks more like the top pictures with the white fingers.  Under my fingernails turns slightly blue sometimes, but never as bad as the bottom pictures.)

So here's the problem with self-diagnosis...you might miss the big picture. While reading about Raynaud's online, I discovered that there are two types: primary and secondary. Primary Raynaud's is known as Raynaud's Disease and occurs on its own. Secondary Raynaud's is known as Raynaud's Syndrome, and it most often forms as part of another disease, usually after age 35. Well, being that I was still in my lower 20's and didn't have any of the "weird" diseases it mentioned -- scleroderma, rheumatoid arthritis, LUPUS, etc. -- I jumped to the conclusion that I had primary Raynaud's Disease. I didn't even think of the possibility that this was a symptom of a more serious disease and a sign that I should see a doctor to get tested.

So, it is likely that there have been many signs along the way pointing me towards lupus, but I chose to ignore or overlook them. I've always been one who would put off going to the doctor and just wait things out until they got better. Now that I've been diagnosed with lupus, I've been instructed to see the doctor immediately when I don't feel well.  No more jumping on the Internet to self-diagnose myself...

- a little lupie -