I know a lot of people with chronic disease go through a grieving period and wonder, "Why me?!" A lot of us go through life and take our health for granted, scoffing at 1-in-1,000,000 statistics and think it will never happen to us....then, *boom* -- you get the diagnosis that changes your life. (Really, why don't I have this kind of luck when it comes to winning the lottery?)
I like to think of myself as a positive person. I believe that "things happen for a reason." I believe that "if He brought me to it, He'll bring me through it." I believe that "that which does not kill me makes me stronger." I believe that "every cloud has a silver lining" and that "when it gets dark enough, the stars come out." I know it sounds cheesy and very cliche, but I guess that's me...
That's not to say that there aren't days that I lay here feeling sorry for myself and wish that it would all go away. Yes, there are days when I curse those "normal" people for not appreciating the little things that get them through the day -- being able to open a door without experiencing pain, not having to plan your day around when you need to take your medication, and waking up every morning without worrying about a potential flare.
So I guess the question still remains -- why me? I don't think there will ever be a definitive answer. I like to think that I was "chosen" because I am strong enough to get through it, and that through my struggles, I will become a better person.
Really, I guess I should wonder "why not me?" I'm sure everyone thinks "Why Me?!" at some point in their lives. It may not be because of a chronic illness, but everyone has issues and struggles that they need to deal with. It is our way of learning, our way of growing. It's not important to understand the why, but the how. How will you deal with it when your "Why Me?!" moment comes?
- a little lupie -
Just read your last two entries... Loved both of them. I was just talking with a friend about how one gets Lupus. She felt that it was heriditary... and your research gives me more insight and answers. And thank you for your "Why Me" entry. Continue to be positive and continue to talk with HIM. He will truly take care of you. When Dad and I are not here, we will rest comfortably knowing that you are looking at HIM for guidance and strength.
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